What I had was a bilateral mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. The surgeon removed both breasts, nipples and all, then inserted expanders under my muscle. He also put either 240 or 260 cc's of saline in each expander; I can't remember the exact amount. The purpose of the expander is to stretch the skin to the desirable size and then replace them with permanent silicone implants in the future. Each week, I go in for a fill. Last week was my first fill of 60 cc's in each side. I can't say that the procedure was painful; it was definitely uncomfortable though. However, the day following the fill, I was in excruciating pain and had to ask my oncologist for a stronger painkiller. The new drug I was prescribed is like a legal narcotic, and it really messed with my head so I stopped taking it.
My next fill is tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it at all. My skin is peeling from being stretched so much. I don't know how it's going to react to radiation in this condition. As the title of this post states, I am without nipples. It's sad to look at two rock hard mounds, each with a 3-4 inch lateral scar. I desperately want this whole journey to be over with. I'm tired of seeing doctors every week, and I'm tired of all the surgeries. I want my life back already!
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| The small syringe was used to numb the skin, and the big ones were used to inject saline into each expander. And to think, some women get more than 60 cc's at each fill! Ouch! |
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| It's been 3 1/2 months since my last chemo. When will my hair be long enough to style, so I don't look like a boy?? |
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