Bye-Bye, Bon Bons

That's what Peyton calls them. Bon bons. Twas the night before my double mastectomy and how do I feel? Anxious, mostly. Have I told you how much I hate getting an IV? Remember how the nurses laughed at me because they couldn't find my vein? Sleep has not been my friend these last few days. Last night, I dreamt that I was late to my surgery. No matter what I did, I just couldn't get there.

The one thing that is different about tomorrow's surgery is that I had time. I was only given one week notice for my lumpectomies. I had over a month's notice for this one. What does that mean? Time to plan, organize, clean, and above all, be anxious.

The kids have been asking about my surgery. I have no idea how to explain to them that my old bon bons were bad, so the doctor has to remove them and give me new ones. So, I just said that the doctor wants to make me all better. Of course, that is an unsatisfactory response for Matthew. Too simple of an answer. In his eyes and Peyton's as well, I'm not sick. Why visit the doctor when I'm not sick? Makes perfect sense, right? I love the innocent and untainted minds of children.

I'm glad that my surgery is at 7:30 am. Being the first case means the doctor can't run behind and make me wait. Because that would suck. Waiting sucks. I feel bad that Tony has to wait for the surgeon to come out and tell him that everything went fine. Then he has to wait until I wake up before they even let him see me.

Well, I have a big day ahead of me, and I still need to finish some laundry and pack for the hospital. New, cancer free bon bons, here I come!

 Enough hair to go hat-less in public?