The Red Devil

The Red Devil is the name used on the streets for Adriamycin, one of the meds that I received today during my 1st chemo. The nurse even asked where I learned that name from since she doesn't like to use it. Adriamycin is straight up poison. Not only is it a scary red color, the nurse has to wear a full gown and gloves to give it to me. She has to do a manual push, which means she sits there and pushes the meds into my IV, as opposed to having a drip. It took about 15 minutes. I asked her what would happen if someone touched it. The answer, "It burns your skin off." And that s*** is going in my body? Are you *&%^ kidding me? Sorry, I don't normally curse, but seriously, you can't call that medicine. 

I'm sure you're wondering how my first chemo treatment went today. I made a long list of stuff to take in my chemo bag. I even brought along my work lunch bag for water and snacks in. I think people thought I was going to stay overnight. I had so much stuff! We checked in and I felt that the receptionist was extremely nice, knowing that I was having chemo today. Then I saw my clinical research nurse (I was randomized into the control group, by the way). She went over all the possible side effects of each medicine that I would be receiving. My oncologist, Dr. Chan, came in as well and checked my lungs and heart. We talked for a bit about how I felt being in the control group versus the one receiving Herceptin. To be honest, I was a little disappointed, but Tony is happy that I won't need an extra year of chemo. The bright side is I will receive very close monitoring and beyond excellent care. 

Before I was taken into the chemo suite, my nurse had to double check the dosages on all of the medications. About ten minutes later, I was taken into the suite. It reminded me of the holding area before I go into surgery. Lots of semi-private areas with recliner chairs. I saw a few patients using those chairs. She asked me if I wanted a private room, which I gladly accepted. The private room is small with its own bathroom. 

All of the procedures were explained to me once again. She poked the needle into my port and I didn't feel a thing, thanks to the numbing cream they gave me. Then she drew some blood to make sure that it worked properly. Sometimes, the port can rotate if it's been in for too long. I was given pre-meds, Zofran, Tylenol, and Decadron. It was now time for the Adriamycin. I tried not to freak out as the red liquid was going inside of my body. The next medicine, Cytoxan, was given on a drip and that took an hour. During that time, I bossed Tony around a bit. Can you take my shoes off? Get my blanket? Get my mentos? Get my Nook? Help me to the bathroom? Get my tissues and lunch bag? Recline my chair? He didn't like it very much. 

Once the Cytoxan was done, I was free to go home. Woohoo! We had dinner at my mom's and are now relaxing at home. I felt a little tiny bit nauseated, so I took a Compazine over an Ativan. Dr. Chan said NOT to be a hero and he wanted me to take the meds as soon as I felt the least bit nauseated. But doc, I have a gene mutation, remember? I am the almighty Phoenix! 

I was given 2 anti-nausea medicines and I threw away the instructions, so I had no idea which one caused less drowsiness. Thank goodness for Google. Ativan is used for depression and comes with a whole list of side effects. They both do, actually. Let's see how I feel tomorrow morning. Tony took tomorrow off, so he can "monitor" me. Tomorrow comes with a new set of challenges. Injecting myself with Neupogen to increase my white blood cells. $300 a pop, without insurance. Tune in.

Love, 

Chinh

This is my port, right after she stuck a needle in it. 

Manual push of the Adriamycin

Red Devil

1st AC treatment, relaxing in my recliner

Waiting to be called into the chemo suite and drinking LOTS of water. I really planned on wearing makeup today (since I knew I was going to be taking lots of pics, but ran out of time this morning.) Yes, I'm vain.

Tickle, Tickle

I was the second person checked into surgery today and the second to last person out. Time wise, that would be 8:15 a.m. to 6:30 p.m, for what was initially supposed to be a 30 minute procedure. I had a "feeling" about today, but didn't want to jinx myself, so I didn't say anything to Tony. First off, the nurse that checked me in was the same one that couldn't get my IV in the last time. Then, the two nurses that were assigned to me laughed as they tried to look for a vein. They said my veins were super tiny (no, duh...that's why I'm getting a port). They joked about how the needle was bigger than my vein. I couldn't believe they were actually finding humor in this whole painful ordeal.

I come to find out that my surgeon's first case was running late because there were "findings." They had to bring in a second surgeon for that person. I was afraid that my surgeon wouldn't be on his "A" game for my procedure as Tony put it, since he was probably a bit frazzled by his first surgery. He is human after all.

My anesthesiologist was this really nice, soft spoken man. He said that because I'm so small, the port needed to be inserted at a steeper angle. It was a good thing I was going to be asleep. When I woke up, I was told that my EKG readings were irregular and I might need to go in for another surgery. It turns out the catheter was tickling my left ventricle. My understanding was that the catheter was inserted too far into my heart. Basically, in between regular heart beats, I felt some serious fluttering and it showed on the heart monitor as a cluster of crazy spikes. The flutters were so strong that I could feel my body move. The anesthesiologist said they take something like this very seriously and it was up to my surgeon to make the next call. They brought in a mobile X-ray machine and did a chest X-ray, while I was still very groggy. I couldn't even sit up on my own.

Dr. Morton came in later to tell me that he was not sending me home like that and I needed to go back into surgery. I thought it was going to be a local anesthetic this time with sedation, but nope, I was fully asleep again. It must be the only way he was comfortable doing things. About an hour or so later, I woke up, did another chest X-ray, and was finally cleared to go home. He ended up cutting 4 cm off the original  length of the catheter. No pain, no gain, baby. Went back to my mom's for some good ole' pho. The best post-surgery food.

The simplest surgery so far ended up to be the longest and most stressful one. Go figure. At least I won't be laughed at about my veins anymore. This baby is hooked up straight to my heart one of my large veins for the infusions. The nurses better be able to find the port though. I met a lady whose nurse missed her port during an infusion and she said it felt like a knife went through her chest. Come on, people. Get your game on.

Have a safe Memorial Day weekend!
Chinh

Feeling the Love

Summer is here, baby! After work today, I met with two of my really good friends, D and P at a local Starbucks. M, we missed you! I actually had some self control and ordered iced green tea instead of my usual coffee. Yay, me!

D and P had a huge surprise for me. They put together a tote filled with goodies from my friends at my old school, WH. Man, do I miss that place. Nostalgia hit last week when I visited for the first time after I moved to middle school. Although I like my new school, it is nothing like WH, my second home and family.

I read in a book somewhere that when you are diagnosed with a life threatening disease such as cancer, it is overwhelming the amount of love and support that you receive from friends and family from all walks of life. Even more than when you get married or have a baby. I've been feeling a lot of that lately, but today, I was taken aback by the generous gift from my WH family. It is so cliche to say that I was at a loss for words. But really, how does one explain the feeling? I wanted to cry, I wanted to give it all back, I wanted no one to know...it's so hard to accept gifts and offers of help. But at the same time, I felt so grateful that I have these wonderful people to call my friends.

It's just that I usually never ask for help of any kind. I always just deal with things on my own. To know that I am loved and cared for so much and by so many people... I just never knew. Never.

Don't you ever wonder, sometimes, how many people would attend your funeral? What people would say? Yeah, I just went there.

Tomorrow, I have my pre-op and ultrasound. Then comes my port surgery on Friday. Good times.

I leave you with a picture of the super cute tote that D and P shopped for. They know my taste exactly. The lining was lime green, people! Inside, I found all sorts of things that are going to be useful during chemo (D did lots of research on this)...gum, mints, socks, jammies, lotions, and much more. You can suck it, cancer! You got nothing on me!

Got a Date?

Yes! Finally got a date. I'm scheduled to have my port surgery next Friday, right before Memorial Day weekend and my first chemo infusion will be on Thursday, May 31st. I am so anxious to get all this started. The sooner I start, the sooner it will be over!

Now, what to bring to my first chemo session...movies, snacks, blanket, socks, mints, iPad??? I also need a generous sized bag to carry all my stuff in. Must search Etsy! Great excuse to buy a new bag or tote. Don't ya think?

I'm excited for summer to start. Only 2 more days. Even Matthew is counting down. Two more days until we can sleep in...at least until 7:00 am. It would be nice if Tony was on the same schedule as us. Wouldn't that be awesome! Two month vacation for the whole family. If only....

Fairies Come in All Kinds

So, my oncologist and I have both been bugging my surgeon about the date for my port. It looks like I will be going under general anesthesia again! But I think it will be a much shorter surgery this time. From what I've read online, it should only be about 30 minutes.

My surgeon called yesterday and he has jury duty next week! He hopes to be released, and has tentatively scheduled me for Friday, 5/25. I told him to tell the judge that he has a very important patient to work on.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was quite relaxing. Tony and the kids brought me breakfast in bed...I actually didn't get out of bed until it was time for lunch!

This past Monday, I had several appointments. First, I went to Kaiser Ontario to get a heart scan. It was actually pretty cool. They withdrew some blood, mixed it with chemicals, then put the blood back into my body. At that point, I was radioactive!! Then they put me on this bed and a huge round thing scanned my heart for 6 minutes.

Next visit was in Fontana to get an EKG, some blood work, and meet with the gyno-oncologist. She said she has to monitor me every 6 months until I get my oopherectomy or hysterectomy. I have to get an ultrasound next Wednesday as part of the monitoring, right after I see the nurse for my pre-op.

In the meantime, I have done so much research on bilateral mastectomies and reconstructive surgeries. There are lots of options available and I will be attending a class in July that is run by a plastic surgeon. The plastic surgeon will discuss options and patients will be there to show you the results from their actual surgeries. Should be pretty interesting...

I told Matthew that maybe the hair fairy will come by when I lose my hair. He said, "To bring you a wig?" I said yes, and he got such a kick out of it! I might have to plan a visit for the hair fairy soon!

Scarves, Hats, and Turbans, Oh My!

I confess. I've spend countless hours trying to find the cutest head coverings ever! And I think I've found them! Peyton wanted to try on some of the scarves, hats, and beanies that I ordered. I actually can't wait to wear them! I'm sure I will be slightly more obsessed once my hair is all gone.

I called my nurse today to see if she had a date for my 1st chemo treatment. No date yet;  she told me to check tomorrow. I'm taking Monday off to get a heart scan, EKG, some blood work, and to meet with the gyno-oncologist. I also asked to have a port put it to make my infusions a little easier. I absolutely hate getting an IV. My veins are so small that it takes several pokes before they establish a good flow. Also, I'm afraid my veins will blow out once I start my weekly treatments. A port will leave a small scar, but I have so many now that it doesn't really matter. I call them my battle scars.

Tomorrow is Greek Day at my school. The school board will come by to recognize me for my 10th year in the district. All while I am fully dressed in my toga and gold-leafed headband!

It will be a mom filled weekend! Spending quality time with both grandmas on Friday and Saturday, then it's all ME on Sunday. Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful friends and family! Let us moms be spoiled this weekend! Hint, hint, babe.

XOXO,
Chinh

Wig, anyone?

Maybe my kids do understand what is going on. Peyton told me that she liked my long hair better than the short hair. Then she joked around and said she wanted me bald, like in the butterfly book. Matthew responded by saying that he didn't want to look at me if I was bald. I told him that I'd cover my head, and he said, "Like a wig?" They both proceeded to make up silly things that I can use to cover my head and both kids were laughing hysterically in the car. If they keep up the humor, things might not be so bad!

This Friday, I visit the clinical research nurse to sign the consent for my chemotherapy treatments. On May 14th, I have an appointment to get a heart scan and to consult with a gyno-oncologist about my options after chemo.

There are only 19 days of work left this school year. That means summer is only a blink of an eye away. That also means that chemo is starting soon...

Can't wait,
Chinh