New Year, New Me

Wow, it's been awhile. I've thought about blogging so many times over the past few weeks, but I just haven't had the energy to do it. Now that the holidays are over, I need to get back on the wagon. Christmas was absolutely wonderful this year. So many unforgettable memories were made. When I was first diagnosed, I was deeply scared that this would be the last Christmas spent with my friends and family. My outlook on life has changed so much these past few months. I first went through shock, then denial, and finally acceptance. I'm learning to document my life with more photos, videos, and journaling. I don't want any special moments to be forgotten.

My double mastectomy is scheduled to be on January 18. I'm trying to prepare for it by organizing the house like crazy. Since my recovery will be at least 3 weeks, I want to make sure that things are in order. After my recovery, I will be getting radiation daily for 5 weeks. I anticipate being on medical leave for at least two months, which means I need to get my long term sub ready. Just another thing that I need to take care of. It is not easy to prepare a complete stranger to take over your classroom for a long period of time.

The plastic surgeon I met with came highly recommended by a friend of mine. He estimates that my whole reconstruction process will take about two years. Radiation complicates things because it ruins your skin. He says that he will need to use my latissimus dorsi muscle and skin from my back to help create new breasts. This will be in addition to implants. I was bummed that he couldn't use my stomach fat! I really do have excess tummy fat and skin, just not enough to make new breasts. Bummer. All of the additional surgeries will take place after radiation and after my skin has been fully expanded. A day after the mastectomy, I will leave the hospital with expanders and drains.

So the anticipation is building. I'm trying to keep busy to avoid freaking out about this whole thing. Because I am really freaking out. This is not my first surgery, but it's a major one that will leave my body deformed for awhile.

Since I'm typing in bed right now, it's too dark to take any pictures. I will post an updated one soon. Happy New Year, everyone! May 2013 be an amazing year full of love and happiness! 2012 sucked for me, so I'm looking forward to new beginnings!