It felt really weird to drive to Kaiser, being that it's been 4 weeks since our last weekly visit. I was sad when I checked in because it was not the same lady that I'm used to seeing. It was some strange guy sitting at her desk! I made such a big stink about it that Tony finally said she's probably on vacation and all of her teddy bears are still on her desk, so she still works there! Then we noticed that someone taped an arrow pointing to the elevator button because people have such a hard time finding it. I told Tony that there were just too many changes in only 4 weeks. How come those little changes affected me so much that day? I still can't figure it out. I mean, I was upset that we didn't take a picture of the stupid arrow made out of tape! That was just the beginning.
I felt really sad as I was walking down the hallway to my oncologist. We had to walk right past the chemo suite. Even Tony, who is not normally bothered by much, felt an odd sense of remembrance.
Anyhow, Dr. Chan referred me to a radiation oncologist to discuss the possibility of me needing radiation. I asked for the best one and his response was that they were all up-to-date. I said I'm sure they are, but I'd like to see the best one. He avoided my question and said that I'd see the technicians more than the doctor.
The big news this time is that I was prescribed Tamoxifen, a hormone blocker. I've read a lot about it, so I'm very familiar with the side effects. See, Tamoxifen is usually prescribed for people whose cancers feed off of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. I was estrogen negative and very slightly progesterone positive (2-3%). Studies have not shown that Tamoxifen is beneficial to people like me, but he wanted me to try it anyways. It is a five year commitment. The side effects are menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes and mood swings. In addition to all that, muscle and joint aches can be a problem as well. I told him that all of those things will happen to me anyway because of my upcoming hysterectomy and oopherectomy. He agreed, but said that Tamoxifen would be intensify them. He also said that if my quality of life is severely affected by the Tamoxifen, I can refuse to continue it. I see him again in two months for a follow up. So far, Tamoxifen is a thumbs down for me. A daily pill that makes me feel like crap. No thanks. But I will take it and make a final decision in two months.
Here are some questions that I had prepared for him:
Me: Can I go to the dentist?
Answer: Yes, now that you are done with chemo.
Me: Can I tattoo my eyebrows? I mean, I know I can get double eyebrows if they grow back in a different spot, but it really stinks to draw fake eyebrows in EVERY morning. Sometimes, it takes 20 minutes to make them look the same!
Answer: Um, sure.
Me: Is there a special shampoo that will make my hair grow back faster?
Answer: No.
Me: But if there WAS a special shampoo, can I use it?
Answer: Um, sure.
Me: Are the Tamoxifen pills like huge horse pills?
Answer: No. (insert funny face here)
Tony (who never says anything during my visits): They're just regular horse pills.
Dr. Chan must think that I am so vain, which I admit to being, but come on now, wouldn't you have wanted to know those things? Well, maybe not the eyebrow thing, because that's just vanity speaking right there.
So...because he gave me permission to visit the dentist, I called as soon as I got into the car. They squeezed me in the following day. Turns out I need a root canal! Boo-hoo. Seriously??
*Sigh* Well, the good news is I have this entire week off from work. I will be having minor surgery on Wednesday to remove my port. Not looking forward to being awake while Dr. Morton opens the incision to pull the catheter out. I heard they superglue the incision back. To be honest, I'm scared!
Next Thursday, I meet with my radiation oncologist AND the endodontist for my root canal. Wish me luck.
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| No eyebrows. See what I mean, people? You would ask too. |
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! XOXO
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